I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i think i just lost a toe
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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