So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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