If i come over, it means nothing
oh god the rape fog is back!
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
