I'm pants shitting drunk right now
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
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the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
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I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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