i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
