Three words: puerto rican gang bang
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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