moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
