I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
