he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
