So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
