Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
