I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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