great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
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Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
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I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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