You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
false alarm, still single
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
