5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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