is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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