I feel like I'm in dance class right now
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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