The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
