we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
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