He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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