I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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