It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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