question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
