I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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