just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
