i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
