2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
