The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Girls should come with a carfax report
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
