Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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