come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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