Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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