i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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