If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we're making bets on your personal life
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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