Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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