the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
