Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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