Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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