he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize