what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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