I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
