Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
