I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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