I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
