some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
