I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize