just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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