I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
