I hate your face
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
