I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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