I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
