But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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