Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
