Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
