just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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