I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
