My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize