so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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