She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Screwed.edu
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize