last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
