sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
