I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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