If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
