My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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