why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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