i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
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